


It's Okay

by Corshi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anorexia, Cutting, Eating Disorders, M/M, Sad, Self Harm, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 02:37:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1209619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corshi/pseuds/Corshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave's been hiding his problems by hurting himself. But Karkat is ready for this to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Okay

You’ve been here before.  It isn’t a rare occasion. In fact, ever since you discovered how good pain felt, this had quickly become a daily thing.

Karkat still didn’t know about it. You had become a professional at hiding them, claiming that you were cold. That’s how you always explained your need for long sleeves.  It was fall, so Karkat knew that that was probably true. And it went on like that for a while; cutting and never eating more than a few Doritos and a glass of apple juice. It was fine until you had to stab another hole into your belt to make it smaller. And when summer crept closer, your tricks had started to stop working.  

~

“You’re wearing long sleeves again?”

The question lingered in your ear even after Karkat had said it. But your garbled mind seemed to forget that he had even talked to you. And you kept typing on your laptop as if he didn’t say anything.

You were only able to snap out of it when he started shaking you.

“Dave!”

“…What?”

The look that Karkat gave you quickly made it clear that he was concerned. And judging by the way you felt, you probably didn’t look very good yourself.

“What do you mean what, you incoherent fucknugget?” Karkat sighed impatiently. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes and all you’ve done is sit there like an impaired quackbeast!”

“Sorry. ‘M just tired.”

Part of that statement was half true. You were pretty damn tired, but you also hadn’t eaten for a few days, and it was starting to take its toll. But you knew that Karkat wasn’t about to let this down easily.

“No, it isn’t that you’re just fucking tired. You have hardly been eating at all! What the hell have you been surviving on? You’re unrelenting irony? And you keep wearing long sleeves. If you’re cold, get a fucking blanket!”

You shied away from him. Not only were you on the verge of passing out, but your head felt extremely weird, and you began to sway. It had finally reached the breaking point.

“Dave!”

Karkat sounded scared now. His arms wrapped around you quickly and steadied you. But your head kept right on spinning, and you kept shifting in and out of consciousness.

When you finally came to your senses, you were in bed with a glass of apple juice next to you. The next thing you noticed was the fact your sleeves were rolled up. As quick as you could, you yanked them back down and hoped that Karkat hadn’t seen then. But as you tried to sit up, you realized that he had been sitting next to you the entire time.

There were tears in his eyes. And his eyes were already red and swollen from many hours of crying. You went to reach for him, but Karkat quickly swiped your hand away.

“Why…Why didn’t you tell me?”

Karkat looked up at you, biting his lip, more tears flittering down his red tinted cheeks. At this point, you didn’t know what to say. Actually, there wasn’t much you could say. What’s done had been done. And even now you didn’t exactly intend to stop.

“I didn’t really want to hear you yell at me for doing dumb shit.”

Karkat sniffled softly and looked away. That’s when it started to hit you hard. You could feel the tears well in your eyes. Karkat was hurt. And you were the one that had hurt him. The sudden urge to cut hit you then. It always happened like this. You would get angry or upset about something, which was usually yourself or something you had done, and you’d want to slice your skin. Watch the ruby blood seep between the broken lips of skin and trickle down old scars and fresh wounds. That was bliss to you.

But bliss was also seeing Karkat smile. To see him watch his stupid romcoms and eat cookies somehow made you happy. The way he would hang on the edge of the couch and clutch his blanket in anticipation was extremely funny, especially considering he had probably watched the show a million times. You loved him so much.

Whenever he embraced you, you always felt so warm. And right now, that’s what you really needed. You reached out to him, yearning for his soft touch. He looked at you and took your hands, gently rubbing his thumbs over the top of the dry, cracked flesh. You gripped his hands and cried harder, hanging your head.

“I’m so fucking sorry Karkat…”

“I know dumbass.”

The screech of a chair on the floor echoed through the room as Karkat stood. He let go of your hands and slowly wrapped you in a gentle hug. God, he was just so fucking _amazing_. Even his smell was the most wonderful thing that had ever invaded your nostrils. He just always somehow made everything okay.

“I’m going to fix you, Dave.”

You gave a small nod. Exhaustion swept over your frail body, and you could feel yourself falling asleep again. The cuts on your arm burned for a second when they were pressed up against Karkats back. As if to mock you, your stomach gave a long, loud groan as well. And you knew, this was going to be a long road ahead.


End file.
